4am Sidewalk Prize EP

by Walmart Romeo

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1.
06:12
2.
02:10
3.
03:50
4.
04:08

about

this EP is a collection of both gratitude and apologies to the people closest to me. all songs included were written between april and december of 2016, primarily in the immediate aftermath of traumatic experiences.

while i did not go into this little 4 track buddy with a theme in mind (or any goal, aside from processing), writing these became a diary for the second half of 2016. eventually, after a great deal of consideration, it turned into something recorded under the radar to be revealed as the first release of a new music project focused on aggressive lack of tact and the freedom of understanding that (in fact) nobody's art is good at all, but allows access to new mediums with which to further publicize the things about yourself that already made everyone around you uncomfortable in daily conversation.

the second half of the EP is a little less perfected sound-wise, since recording/mixing had to be left unfinished, but i am proud to present it as it stands: a surprise development the whole way through.

- mod behrens


SPECIAL THANK YOU:

- to roz for all her help/support and the work she put into making this album a reality with me

- to anna & james for never stopping loving me, supporting and believing in my music since day one and convincing me to release it, and for helping me survive 2016

- to kyra for also helping me survive 2016, being there for me at my very worst while reminding me that everything would be okay, and making me feel human, valid, and capable when nothing else could

- to violet for being the mentor i'd needed for so long and helping to put words to so many confusing things i was trying to work through, as well as providing a level of understanding of myself that i was desperately craving, allowing me to sort out my shit while also calling me out at my most self-destructive

- to jac for being an incredible partner in crime in the western mass DIY scene over the past year, as well as all the rest of eternal slumber party + any & all queer folx making sick music in the pioneer valley for purposes other than capitalist pursuits

credits

released April 11, 2017

mod behrens - vocals/guitar
roz leblanc - bass/drums/keys/backing vocals

((produced & recorded by roz leblanc in easthampton, MA))

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about

Walmart Romeo Northampton, Massachusetts

Walmart Romeo was started as a lyrical diary by Mod Behrens & is now Mod + Roz LeBlanc: two queer punx playing uncomfortably personal songs with nods to folk punk.

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Track Name: Ouroboros
when i lost my apartment, my best friend’s electricity went out
if i’ve learned anything this year, it’s to take the gemini route
i’m everywhere these days and at night i’m always walking
i take her to the garden or we spend eight hours talking
the most active downward spiral this town has ever seen
if you ask what I’ve been up to, i won’t know what you mean

my mentor tells me she can see my python energy
and that sex and addiction are snake-like qualities
she gives me gill over the ground and checks my pulse
as if a herbal remedy will bring shocking results
does she think my heart is racing cause she’s touching my wrist
she knows that serpent’s eyes don’t dilate like this

i take pills to fall asleep these days and i photograph the worst parts of myself
eyes locked on my bedsheets trying to remember how ten months ago felt
everybody knows my face but none can spell my name
impostor at my finest unaccustomed to my fame
i don’t remember yesterday but it was nice to see you
i rely on text time stamps to track my own pursuits

they say ‘you say you’re not hooked, though i don’t know if i believe you’
‘but it’s your life and i’m not one to tell you what to do’
so they still come play guitar for us as i sketch my life in panels
we pretend we’re just inspired as i sweat right through my flannel
but i have to slither twenty miles to keep from getting restless
and your legs will get tired but my stamina is endless

i brought sin into the kindest house that ever let me rent a room
but i heard a woman died there so maybe we were doomed
i wanted to teach the backyard crows to bring me shiny objects
to wrap and mail to Boston for distant romantic prospects
they told me i inspired art, they said i was a goddess
distant non-commitment’s where i’ve always been my strongest

i’m not the fearful thing you grew up thinking meant you harm
i’m shedding skin at record time but there’s no need for alarm
you think i never sleep but you are used to having eyelids
and i promise you it’s normal for snakes to fast like this

i’ve still got at least ten years if i keep retaining water
and even if you leave me, i’m still the constrictor’s daughter
i know it hurts you greatly to see my growing destruction
but it’s not your flesh i’m eating, and i own my self-consumption
Track Name: April Song
she says “how do you sleep without no nyquil?”
“how do you sleep without a xanax?”
my old best friend in vermont says heroin gets her to bed
feels like there’s better options but i’m happy she’s not dead because

how can i judge someone else’s health when i’m a mess?
that evan williams looks so good when i’m depressed
told my friend i’d never try a bowl or bump of meth
but if you’ve got some on you i’ll take a hit
i’ll take a hit

the night they did DMT we killed an actor
played that same days n daze song over and over
and we did so much goddamn coke you copied cop car license plates
we ignored our fucking privilege to be squatters for the day like

i’m just a child with X-rated adult themes
doing blow with addicts, they provide me with the means
i ran out of weed after that half an ounce last week
and i’ve been looking to get some more so if you’re offering
i’ll take a hit

i’d die of lung cancer if cigarettes were free
i’m not good at taking care of anyone but me
i’ll go to your party, hit on every girl i see
and if after tonight, I’m still alone
i’ll take a hit
Track Name: Blood Magic
i took your jeans
and i cut them like you sliced my skin
when we made our pact
but in polyamory you always win
at least that’s what you said
but you don’t play fair and you taunt your opponent
is this all in my head?
seems like you’ve got so many friends


he found me at six am on my three mile walk home
crouched outside the plastics factory, sobbing in the cold
he looked at me and begged me “please don’t go back”
i said “once you’re worthless, you’ll take what you can get”


why won’t you leave?
there’s no doubt you’ve overstayed your welcome
there’s roadkill blood on my sleeves
a visceral mess and a Rorschach emblem
that only you could read
as a testimony to your imagined greatness
but i’m not your congregation
your sermons stripped my self away


i’ve never been so scared entering a friend’s apartment
with words i was afraid to use, but desperately wanted
the fun house mirrors cracked to show a route from isolation
but guilt that’s in my head tells me i’ve paved the path i’ve taken


don’t know if i can fuck
but i used to be a nymphomaniac
constant replays every night
new fear in being an insomniac
photos match your thought of us
but if i don’t look, i haven’t kept them
i know your ego’s fantasy
and i’ve fulfilled your biggest wish
Track Name: Time to Go
as she collects burdock, i reminisce about the flu
thought i might die without insurance, but it gave me a clearer view
when i coughed too much to smoke cigarettes and couldn’t leave bed to get high
i realized it’s this place that makes me depressed and it’s time to say goodbye
she said “this isn’t a home for you, you need to find community
your values aren’t valued here, you need punk solidarity”
well hopping trains is hard these days but there’s no punks around here
and i’ve realized i need more than just a neighborhood that’s queer

so hey friend, let’s go to portland
get the fuck out of this town
there’s nothing left for us here
and it’s getting me down
i can find a rent-free attic
you’ll have an apartment with a view
i can model, we can write
i won’t go anywhere without you

in a city, i can get a job with tattoos on my hands
i’ll find a scene that maybe has some decent hardcore bands
housing isn’t cheap but in this college town it’s a disaster
and i’d like to feel as though my life’s moving a little faster
i wanted to go to school out west, but nowhere let me in
now i’m too poor for college, but desperate to move again
cause i’ve watched my old dreams wither more in the same snow every year
if i accomplish anything, it certainly won’t be here

so hey friend, let’s go to portland
get the fuck out of this town
there’s nothing left for us here
and it’s getting me down
i can find a rent-free attic
you’ll have an apartment with a view
i can model, we can write
i won’t go anywhere without you

now i know you’re not looking for a dumpster-scavenged dinner
although cities have a lot of cars and sure need a roadkill thinner
but we won’t live together and you’ll fill your room with houseplants
so i’ll come over everyday to read our horoscopes and rant
you’ll praise walter benjamin while i sew patches on ripped jeans
and we’ll trade trash found on our walks and compare norms we’ve seen
i know you’re not big on punk but there’s top 40 2009
we’ll stay up all night as always while you talk about enneagram types

so hey friend, let’s go to portland
get the fuck out of this town
there’s nothing left for us here
and it’s getting me down
i can find a rent-free attic
you’ll have an apartment with a view
i can model, we can write
i won’t go anywhere without you